Gen Z Speaks: Crying Out for Renewal
Welcome to Peniel CrossRoads, where we embrace Jesus’s heart and together live out the call to biblical unity!
In Romans, Paul exhorted his readers not to conform to the influences around them but to “be transformed by the renewing of [their] minds…” (12:2, NRSV) I think, as Christians, too often we approach our faith with presumptions, presuppositions, predictions. Even the person who seeks to learn more can forget how to love God first with our minds. I have fallen prey to this many times, but a recent experience with the Holy Spirit helped me recognize that I really need to allow Him to transform my mind:
It was a regular Saturday. I was alone while my family was away at a school event for my sister. At around 10 p.m. I found myself overwhelmed by the state of the world, the people in it, and the prospect of finding my place within it over the next few months. I hadn’t the motivation or energy to do anything, even to watch a movie. Finally, I resorted to sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor, intending to let myself decompress with a good cry after the emotions of graduation. I chose to put on my worship playlist, as I felt I needed to listen to something uplifting.
As “So Will I (100 Billion X’s)” began to play, I soon realized that I was feeling an odd tingling sensation beginning to buzz on my forehead and cheeks, the kind of sensation you get when a limb has gone numb and its feeling is returning, like pins and needles. Multiple things began to run through my head at once. Months ago, I had tried fasting for the first time, and with my mom as my partner, I remembered feeling a vague, odd tingling along my arms. I deduced at the time that it was the Holy Spirit coming over me. So then, perhaps this was the Spirit again. As my attention centered on the sensation, it almost reminded me of someone holding my face, like someone touching me. I had never really felt God with my physical senses before; He had usually revealed Himself to me through thoughts or messages.
As I began to cry harder, the tingling grew stronger. I wondered if I were dying or if it was a spiritual attack, but as the music continued and I began to breathe deeply to remain calm, I did not feel any sort of negative influence. I simply felt…emotion.
With anxiety dimmed, I allowed the weight of my burdens to leave, as the tingling spread from my head and cheeks to my arms and hands, without leaving my head. Soon, it almost felt as if it were reaching into my head. I began to ponder out loud, “What are you doing, LORD?” I certainly hadn’t expected an unfamiliar encounter like this. I was reminded of my father’s Spirit baptism and simultaneous heart-warming experience—like that of John Wesley’s—and I wondered, could that be happening to me? Still the feeling intensified. It was as if time was suspended while the music played, although the one song was only seven minutes long. I was being cradled in an eternal moment. I had received a glimpse of heaven, a place I never wanted to leave.
As I continued to cry out, I laid my hands over my heart, imploring Him to “do it here!” In that moment, it was the only time I heard Him (inaudibly) throughout the experience: “You don’t need it there, you need it up here.” I let that sink in, allowing oxygen and pure Holy Spirit to fill my lungs, while the sensation spread to my legs and into my stomach. It was as if God were touching every part of my body except my heart. The tingling remained until I found the courage to call someone, and as my attention was drawn away, the sensation slowly faded but left me feeling warm and shaky. The weights had been lifted from me, and I wondered what had just happened.
Romans 12:2 begins, “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.” But Paul doesn’t really end there. He goes on to say, “so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Perhaps I needed to experience Him in a tangible way to know He hadn’t let go of me, that He’s got this, and that everything will be okay. As we allow God to reveal Himself to us in new and deeper ways, we will come to realize how much we matter to Him and how much He should matter to us…
By Emma Branstetter
Lord Jesus, we invite You to touch Your people—and the generations around us—in deeper ways. We don’t want to put limits on You, God; we want to know You in all your fullness! Bless my heart, my head, and my hands to know You more deeply and to make You known. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.
COMING UP: Next week we will continue the “Gen Z Speaks” series, inviting young people “who have not bowed a knee” to the spirit of this world to share words the Lord has given them.