Is it possible to be “unoffendable”?
Recently I have been thinking about the role of forgiveness in our lives.
Last week we discussed how forgiveness is ONE of the amazing, undeserved gifts we receive in Christ’s atonement at Calvary. His atonement accomplished more than just forgiveness, but to have been forgiven by God truly IS an incredible thing.
God required a blood sacrifice from His own Son to make atonement—to expunge our record and to provide reconciliation—for the innumerable offenses committed against Him by humanity. God, in Christ, has forgiven us of a lifetime of offenses. If God has already forgiven me, how could I hold any offenses against another?
On the journey of becoming more like Jesus, it only seems right that I should become more forgiving toward others, even toward myself. When I stop to think about this deeply, I ask myself: am I regularly forgiving toward others? In light of Calvary, how could I not forgive quickly? If I forgive quickly, have I really forgiven?
Listening to the first session of a study series on Brant Hansen’s book Unoffendable stirred up more thoughts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrFRNRJ9BwA
It is much easier to be “unoffendable” in contexts with low risk, such as driving in traffic. Other contexts with higher stakes, however, make forgiveness much more difficult. It’s pretty easy to forgive someone we don’t know or won’t see again (such as a driver who just cut us off or ran a red light), but it’s much harder to forgive those who were close to us and wounded us deeply.
Put differently: we may easily forgive minor offenses that carry little emotional baggage, but offenses that reflect negatively on a loved one’s opinion of us require a process of forgiveness.
It’s good and right to be unoffendable whenever possible. It shows that we have understood the depth of God’s forgiveness for us and have begun to “walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us—and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”* Nevertheless…
The deeper the offense, the harder (and often longer) the forgiveness.
Deep wounds require deep healing. Why would I expect that deep wounds committed against us by other people wouldn’t require a process of forgiveness?
Without forgiveness of the offender, it’s almost certain that we will repeat similar or identical offenses against others. Gratefully, God’s Holy Spirit provides us with the power to walk through steps of forgiveness and begin new patterns of responding to the offenses of others!
Forgiveness is a matter of justice, an act of committing to God the right to determine what justice should be for the offender. Getting to the place where we are ready to release justice to the Righteous One may require steps of: admitting our own hurt and what the offense cost us; accusing the offender (to God, not the person!); releasing the desire to take revenge; and agreeing to forgive the person.
For the deepest wounds, the process may take months or years. But we can be assured we do not walk the journey alone; God’s Spirit desires freedom for us, and He constantly nudges us toward the abundant life.** Abundant life must surely include the freedom of forgiveness toward others!
“Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Romans 7:24b, 25a
For Jesus’ sake,
Chris & Julie Branstetter
Scriptures referenced: *Ephesians 5:1, **John 10:10
PRAYER EMPHASIS: Who is God helping you to forgive? This could be someone you know (someone in your past or present life) or someone you don’t know (a public figure). It could be a group of people. Let’s ask the Lord to do some “house cleaning” in our hearts to help us become forgiving people!