The Peacemaker
“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory. In his name the nations will put their hope.”
Matthew 12:20-21
I enjoy conflict about as much as I enjoy a root canal. To be honest, none of us truly enjoys interpersonal conflict! For most of us, it’s difficult to choose a peacemaking response while managing misunderstandings or while embroiled in disagreement.
A typical response to conflict looks similar to the fight-or-flight physical response in a true emergency. We usually either tend to run away—avoiding the conflict altogether--or to become defensive and argumentative—responding with a counterattack.
In any relationship, including relationships with believers, we will inevitably meet conflict. But conflict does not have to be all bad. What is the purpose of conflict from God’s perspective? After all, He knows we’re imperfect and that we sometimes hear and see things differently than they were intended. He sees our areas of sensitivity (due to our hurts) and that none of us always responds perfectly. So, how can we trust God to work through conflict?
Viewing conflict from a biblical perspective means that God intends to use it to bring glory to Himself and to make us more like Jesus. Resolving conflict can also be used as a vehicle to serve others. But is this too big an expectation for flawed humans like us?
Ken Sande doesn’t think so. His book The Peacemaker is a tool we highly recommend for learning to respond to conflict using a Christ-centered approach.
Jesus taught that those who live as peacemakers (as opposed to peace-keepers) are blessed. It requires an entirely different response than what we are accustomed to. In fact, it requires some rewiring of our default settings, because peacemaking isn’t natural for any of us!
But what if becoming peacemakers could become our new reality? What if we could choose a peacemaking response to conflict rather than the usual fight-or-flight response?
If we chose to step into conflict prayerfully and peaceably, rather than running away or avoiding it, could we perhaps begin to see God glorified in the process? Could we possibly be changed more into His likeness as we submit to His ways and His timing?
How do you respond to conflict? If you tend to avoid, run or attack, you are not alone. May the Prince of Peace, rule in our hearts and lives so that He changes how we respond to conflict. May He send us into situations that require us to seek peaceable solutions so He can be glorified!
For Jesus’ Sake,
Chris & Julie
P.S. If you are hungry to learn steps of peacemaking, reach out to us to find out about The Peacemaker or to form your own book club with others who are eager to practice peaceable living.