How much patience is enough?
I used to have a pretty simple view of patience. I thought of it as a pause button on our mouths and actions, like simply waiting to react. Indeed, those who study the brain teach that, in a moment of negative interaction, if a person will wait a few seconds before speaking, the response will be better. Those few seconds alone allow the brain to transfer impulses from the quick-reaction area at its base (the amygdala) to the frontal lobe (the thoughtful part of the brain). Even secular wisdom and the very old Donald Duck cartoon on controlling anger teach us to “count to ten.”
Certainly, church unity would improve if we all waited a few seconds, hours, or even days to pray about how to respond in every situation!
But biblical patience is much more than a simple pause button.
In Ephesians 4, Paul uses the word makrothumia, which is probably best translated as the older English word “long- suffering”. It is the word that Jesus used twice in the parable of the unmerciful servant. While we usually think of this as a parable about forgiveness, Jesus also teaches us the deepest meaning of patience in this story.
In Matthew 18, Jesus had been teaching on how to properly deal with sin in the church when Peter popped a question: “Lord, how many times shall I forgive the one who sins against me? Up to seven times?” (v. 21). Since many rabbis of the first century taught their disciples to forgive up to three times, Peter probably thought he could impress Jesus with a greater show of patience! To Peter’s surprise, Jesus replied, “seventy-seven times” (v. 22), a phrase that implied an infinite number of times. Then Jesus continued with a story…
A certain servant was called before his king to account for the equivalent of billions of dollars in debt. Unable to hope for anything more than extra time, the servant begs for makrothumia, or patience. In response, the master shockingly cancels the entire debt and allows the servant to leave! Of course, the parable takes a bizarre turn as the servant who was just forgiven billions of dollars refuses to forgive a fellow servant a few hundred dollars. In fact, he even refuses to show patience. When the king hears of this, his patience and forbearance end, and he throws the wicked servant into the debtors’ jail.
Jesus’ point is poignantly clear: His followers have ALL been forgiven an eternal debt.
Our deserved sentence of endless torment in hell has been commuted and replaced with a promise of infinite delight.
In light of this, any troubles we currently face are truly light compared to the infinite glory and joy that are to come!
Keeping this in mind, it is much easier to forgive others when we are wronged and to forgive with long-suffering when we are wronged again and again. There is no better moment to practice biblical long-suffering than when someone wrongs you.
Because of God’s pardon, both forgiveness and patience should be our natural response at all times. Retaliation can take a minor conflict and escalate it to war. Patience diffuses situations and gives believers time to weigh prayerfully and biblically what Jesus would have us say and do. Impatience is a unity killer; long-suffering is the path to greater unity.**
For Jesus’ Sake,
Chris & Julie
Lord, I repent of the many times I have been impatient with the faults and weaknesses of others. I thank you for your lavish grace and pardon for me. Train me, dear Holy Spirit, to respond with the same grace and patience that you have showed to me!
**(Adapted from Make Us One: Christian Unity in Beijing, p. 86-88, available at Amazon.com)