The “One Down” Approach
Do you ever have a really good idea, but you do not know the original source? A few years ago, I heard a pastor talk about the “one down” attitude. It was a powerful and memorable idea, but I am sure he did not make it up.
“One down” means that in a tense situation, we respond instead of reacting, especially without retaliating.
Reaction is knee-jerk; retaliation is often more reflective, planned revenge. We never say it like this in our heads, but we all remember many times when we responded too quickly to someone. Perhaps we have tried to “get even.”
Portraying the “one down” attitude de-escalates situations. If the history of the world since the fall of Adam and Eve proves anything, it is that escalation is the tendency of our fallen natures. When someone takes a tooth, humans tend to retaliate quickly and severely, usually taking two or three teeth in return. And a vicious cycle begins.
“One down” is a purposeful response to others—especially when others are causing us stress, discomfort, or anger. It is when I soften and lower my voice while the other person yells. “One down” is my responding kindly to someone who has been less than kind to me. “One down” is willfully increasing my patience when someone else is showing impatience.
We have all seen this in public. A business with good customer service lives by the motto “the customer is always right.” We have all been in line, watching an irate customer give the manager a piece of their mind. If the manager or employee chooses the “one down” approach, he or she will say, “I am sure there is a way we can resolve this” or “Let me see what I can do.” And you have seen the response—de-escalation!
In the end, I guess I do know where the “one down” idea originated. Jesus may not have coined the phrase, but He certainly lived and taught it! In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught, “You have heard it said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” *Matthew 5:38-41
And Jesus did not just teach this. Taking it far beyond the “one down” attitude of customer service, Jesus forgave those who nailed Him to a plank of wood.
On the cross, Jesus not only forgave sins; He showed us the way of forgiveness! He kept the redemption of His enemy—you, me, and all humanity—at the center of His focus. Love alone carried Him through to His final breath.
Lord Jesus, I do not respond like this! Please transform me from the inside out to see as You see and speak as You would have me speak! I want to take the position of a servant as You did for the de-escalating of difficult situations. I offer myself to You to be a peacemaker. Here I am, Lord, send me!
For Jesus’ Sake,
Chris & Julie